Let me talk about pain because I don’t understand it sometimes,
Pain because it overtakes me sometimes,
Pain because I can’t seem to get over it sometimes..
Pain because it consumes us and makes us do everything we can just to stop feeling it, find a cure or a temporary fix for it.
Sometimes I get in the bus and look around, I see people moving out of the bus, and some seating or standing in the bus, I start to imagine and think of their lives, which I know a little about… Maybe they just received the news that they have cancer, maybe they lost a son last year, maybe they are going through a break up, maybe they are getting a divorce, maybe they don’t have a good relationship with their parents,maybe they have failed in school, maybe they are in pain, right now, right here, but they show me the ‘all is well’ face.
‘All is well’ face is the reason I always forget to treat people with kindness because right then and there I am always blind to their pain, to their humanity.
‘All is well’ face is what we grew up knowing how to give, taught early on not to show if something is wrong to our neighbours, or to the visitors.
This face is the one that I am letting go of today.
Let me talk about pain, that makes my heart bleed. It’s funny that nobody sees it, it is different from a physical sickness that can make you limp and it is visible, pain sometimes is invisible, you just can’t see it and maybe don’t know how to show it.
When you feel that your heart is so heavy, and a song can you make you cry on the couch, uncontrollably.. The faster you wipe away your tears, the faster new ones drop, and your heart still feels the heaviness, you sleep and you wake up and it is still there.
I remember going through a break up in university, and months death with the pain, and one day while going to class, I said to myself, ‘am tired of feeling this way, I wish I could feel normal again, God can you make this pain go away?’.
One time I was travelling in a bus, and I sat next to a woman who was going to Dar because she received a call that her son was sick, she received this call after burying her other son, and she had turned off her phone so that no one can get her, cause she feared the bad news.
Sitting next to her, my mind started thinking about other people in the bus as well, like what if they are all going through stuffs as well?
What if we all deal with pain in life?
Different, but we all deal with something..
What if we accepted the fact that we all go through something..
Would that make us more kind to each other, knowing that we handle pain differently even at our worst or would that make us more considerate and open to listening and sharing our lives, knowing that my story can be different, but it is a story of everyone who is living under the sun..
How do we deal with it?
With the things that cause it in our lives?
How do we help each other when going through it??
(I hope to share songs to listen to when you feel in pain,let me choose those that have helped me?)
Ps, would love to hear from you, if you are going through something or how you have dealt with pain before.