5 Lessons that I’ve learned from The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
This is a self-help book that talks about focusing on what matters most to grow as an individual. Mark Manson talks about looking at problems head-on and searching for the most favorable way to deal with them. What is happiness? What are your life values? Are you celebrating life?
You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.-Albert Camus
We must know that most of us are pretty average at most things we do. Even if you’re exceptional at one thing, chances are you’re average or below average at most other things. One can’t be a master of trades, because we’re not perfect.
Our lives today are filled with information from the extremes of the bell curve of human experience. The best of the best, worst of the worst, and most upsetting of the upsetting. We only see the most exceptional news stories because that’s what drives revenue. This is a real problem when it comes to comparison because you can only be exceptional in one thing and you’re going to be below average in nearly everything else. That makes comparison a very dangerous game to play– Mark Manson
Some of the key lessons drawn from this book:
1. We are an entitled generation
2. There aren’t personal problems, you’re not special, your problems aren’t privileged in their pain or severity.
3. Technology/social media fuels insecurities
4. Layer of questioning helps us understand the root cause of emotions that overwhelm us
5. Let go of your shitty values
Values determine the nature of our problems and the nature of our problems determines the quality of our lives.
What standard do we use to measure our lives?
- Overvaluing material success- most people prioritize materials instead of important values such as honesty, nonviolence and compassion. This is what shallow people do. Materials will not last forever and there’s a constant need to change them, where’s their value in something you can replace instantly.
- Valuing your self-worth on always being right- This will make you unhappy. You’ll lack the ability to take on new perspectives and empathize with others.
- Pleasure- The false God (a superficial form of life satisfaction). It’s not a cause of happiness but an effect of happiness. Pleasure whilst necessary in life is not by itself sufficient. “Ask an adulterer who shattered his/her family and lost his/her family whether pleasure made her happy?”- Mark Manson
- Staying positive- While this is a good thing it’s important to embrace that sometimes life sucks. Denying negative emotions leads to experiencing prolonged negative emotions to emotional dysfunction. Express your negative emotions in a socially acceptable manner and also in a way that aligns with your values.
” One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.” -Sigmund Freud
- What are the values that you prioritize above everything else, and therefore influence your decision-making more than anything else?
Important Questions to Note:
1. Why do I consider certain things to be a failure or success?
2. How am I choosing to measure myself?
Written by Kudzanai Matilda Kurotwi, blogger at https://blackmwanasmemoir.wordpress.com
Also by Kudzanai : Unemployment struggles that people rarely talk about
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