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Maisha ya kila siku,  Random,  Self Care

Going through a breakup? Here is what you should know

There are different types of break ups so i figured.

-The one where both of you were in a relationship.

-The one where you were in a relationship alone and he/she wasn’t. This can be in two ways, when it is a crush and you discovered he/she is dating so you are healing and moving on or you were in a relationship but again one of you wasn’t invested, so it hurts.

-The one where you were going somewhere, you were in getting to know each other stage, but discovered that he /she is not right for you, so you and your expectations are crushed and you need to move on from that experience.

Am at the third type of a break up, and by the way if you are going through a different one that i haven’t mentioned please mention that type in the comments below.

Break ups are heartbreaking, because it is your heart that is breaking. It literally feels like your heart is ripped in two.
So i met this guy, no, like i went to uni with this guy and we reconnected just now, apparently we had a secret crush on each other and now was when we talked about it.

We were on getting to know each other stage when he showed signs of being controlling. I mean he will just say words that made my guts feel some type of a way.

And i am so sensitive to red flags these days, and i listen to my gut like a lot. And so it didn’t feel right. And i had to break it.

Last year i spent the whole year being intentionally single, this year i battled with loneliness in the beginning of the year, and so i was really excited for this to work out, plus our love story would have been amazing, we went to uni together and reconnected.. how romantic.

But i broke it off.

Break ups can feel like a wrong decision sometimes, and they can make us believe that the future is dark. All of a sudden you see a fog when you think of your future and start to feel like there is something wrong with you.

This guy, this girl who we pictured the rest of our lives with left or we left them because our guts, our reasoning told us it’s not right. Or because they made this so called right decision for themselves.

If you are going through a break up, like me, all i want to say to you is what i want to hear right now, don’t go back.

Your gut is right. Your insticts knows best.

I remember going back and back in my past relationships because i chose not to believe my guts, wanting to make sure I wasn’t right, I wasn’t making the right decision by leaving, I was tired of feeling this heaviness in my heart, but more importantly i was just scared of being lonely.

If you are going through a break up right now, things will get better, you will see the light again.

You heart will stop feeling like its broken and the heaviness will become light, and you will feel whole again, it will take sometime, but it’s worth it for yourself.

You will find light again, you will see the light again, you will be normal again, you will find joy again.
For now take time to heal, alone. I want you to have hope that you will come out of this stronger and a better version of yourself.



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