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Being African,  Guest Post

Dear African Man

(Dear African Man will be the last collaborative piece for now on our Dear African …. Series, you can read Dear African Child here and Dear African Woman here)

As Africans here is what we want African men to know;

Dear Men, take heed!

Growing up i used to think my Father Ephraim favoured the girls(my lovely sisters Tsitsi, Alettah & Farai), but i came to the realization that it emanated from a perspective of ignorance.

We were so engrossed in a thinking that necessitated us to assume that balance and equality were unfairness to us the boys.

It eventually dawned that he didn’t favour the girls, he merely loved them and due to that brought in a new concept of equality, which at the time was foreign to us and our surroundings and ultimately posed a threat to our undeserved patriarchal privileges.

We just had not familiarized ourselves with its beauty, but it is beautiful when Women and Men collaborate to create better homes, better societies, better countries and ultimately a better world. Understand that women can be powerful, ought to be even and it’s okay. It makes our being man easier.

#Lessons from Ephraim!

Bruce Chimbunde

Dear African man, having money is not a personality trait

Yaadoublea, blogger @A Serene Place

Dear African Man

You don’t have to put a front for your kids, wife and family members.

Being vulnerable is not weakness.

Please tell your stories of hurt, resilience and struggles.

We want to know you, not the man you think you’re supposed to be. When you speak about what hurt you, broke you and battles you’ve had to fight — we will learn to do the same as your children, sisters and brothers.

I know that when you were raped, degraded, lost the job, your wife or got divorced it tore you apart. Instead of just building walls and being closed off from us, allow us to share in your pain. Let’s us learn, help, feel and do the journey with you.You’re important. Your heart is priceless treasure. You’re a piece of art. You’re my dad, you’re my uncle, you’re my brother, you’re my friend, you’re my partner — I see you.

BlogAnomaly, blogger at More Blessing Bethel

I saw this picture the other day, and it made me think about the battles you fight alone, the war that is going on in your head and heart, all that you don’t have words for, or maybe you don’t have a space to express or maybe because of the idea that we currently have of how men should be you carry in your effort to fit the mold.

It must be so hard to carry all that weight, to live in your bubble.

I hope you know and we get to a point where it is safe and acceptable for you to open up.

Dear African Man, the same hard standards that you hold yourself too, are the ones that you project on others, if you show yourself more grace, you can show others grace too. You are just a human being, allow yourself to be.

Heal. Self care is not for women alone, it is for you too. You are human after all.

Heal, be open to new ideas that shake your world, that is exciting.

Heal, because hurt people hurt people, and in our world men and women are equally hurt. The more we heal, the less we hurt each other, the less we act from an insecurity, the more we empower each other.


Forever grateful to all that took part in this piece, your contribution made this piece come to life, you are appreciated🖤


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