Pata majibu ya maswali yote uliyonayo kuhusu maisha ya chuo na changamoto zake

Being African,  Guest Post

Dear African Woman

I feel like we have a lot to share based on our experiences living in our communities, countries and the continent and so i love doing these collaborative posts so that we get to share what we want to say to each other, kinda like our stories told by us for us.

(If you haven’t read the previous collaborative project titled Dear African Child part 1 & 2, read them HERE and HERE.

So dear African woman, here is what our fellow African women want you to know;

Dear African Woman,

For years you have lived in the shadows of men, as you were mostly raised to please them. As a result, you have fought battles in and out of the home. I see you fighting still, never quitting. Your efforts are appreciated. Every day more and more opportunities arise for you to break the glass ceilings. You have the chance to do more and be more. All you have to do is put one foot in front of the other, one day at a time. While you are at it, do not lose yourself. Also remain to lift other women up. Breaking the chains of patriarchy cannot be achieved without you.

From your fellow African woman,

Uchechi Shirley Anaduaka

Dear African Woman,

You are ENOUGH. Stop trying to be everything and anything for everyone. Be someone for you.

When it gets tough, don’t die in silence-seek help. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness but a strength.

Indulge in self care continuously and don’t you dare feel guilty about it.

@rachealkay29 from

I’ll ask you to lose your religious identity, own your voice, free yourself from the need to be liked : it is a mental prison and anyone should earn the right to be in your space


My African Woman, I wish I could take away all your problems. I wish I could set you free from the cages that have trapped your mind. I wish I could free you from the unfair conditions that have been set for you that you have had to put up with just so you would be left alone. I wish I could hunt for your voice that was taken away from you.

@hopechilinda from

Dear African Woman,

As women, we need to define ourselves, not in comparison to men, but in our individuality and uniqueness as women. Our identity should not be defined according to our relations with men. Being in relationship with a male is not going to make you any more of a woman than you already are. You are complete in and of yourself. If only we could realize the power of femininity and stop trying to be like men or seek their validation. From our minds, our bodies, our personalities, we are on a much higher plane if only we could know our worth. Success, hard work and determination are not always appreciated in a woman especially in Africa. Everyone wants to know where is your husband or your man. We must not let this stop us from achieving our dreams. We have the advantage of our feminine instinct to guide us. Go forth, be brave and conquer in the area of your life that you have been placed in. Let your personality shine through and do not be timid.

@JusG_G from

Dear African Woman,

You are a woman ENOUGH.

Nothing you do , takes that away from you.

Nothing you don’t do, takes that away from you.

You are a woman ENOUGH.

Take your time to learn more about yourself, what you like, what you don’t and what you want for yourself. Somethings that you were raised to believe as how women should be, won’t work for you, and that’s okay, there’s no one way to be a woman. But you wouldn’t know if they aren’t for you if you don’t take time to learn more about yourself. Be yourself. Pursue what your heart desires, there maybe odds stuck against you, but still choose yourself. You will live a life with less regret that way, and darling you deserve to live that kind of life, that life is fulfilling. Your happy ending maybe different from what the society tells you it should look like, and it is okay, your life isn’t owned by the society, your life is yours. Break the rules sometimes, question things, ask questions, be adventurous and stand up for yourself.

Seek help, your worth is not found in carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. Asking for help is a sign of strength, don’t drown in the sea of everyone’s trouble in your effort to prove your strength. Follow your dreams, you will be happy that you did. Again, you deserve to live a life with less regrets. Always remember that men and women are different but we are equal, don’t accept to be treated less than. Be all you want to be, your gender is not your limitation, it is your gift.


(S/O to everyone who contributed in this post, forever thankful that you shared your wisdom with me and other African women via this platform.)

Dear reader, If there’s something that you want to say to African women, feel free to do so in the comments, your voice and opinions matter



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