I write this letter to you because I care, because I think of you often, I worry about you and I really believe in you.. I write this letter because I believe you will survive this hard time, this painful time, this confusing time.
I want to tell you that I understand, but maybe I don’t. You see, I throw that word around a lot to people who are suffering, I heard it makes people feel heard,seen and understood. And I want you to feel that, I want you to feel understood, I want you to feel seen, I want you to feel heard. I also want to tell you that you will get over it or maybe you will move on from this, but you see I don’t know when, I don’t know how, and I don’t know what you really need currently, and so all I end up telling you right now is there is hope, and light. I know when you close your eyes or keep them open all you see is dark, but you haven’t seen it all, you haven’t lived it all, just wait.
Dear graduate, am sorry that you spend many nights crying, staring at the ceiling, the stars and your graduation pictures wondering, and lost in thoughts, your mind can’t take in any more thing.
Am sorry that you try to keep yourself busy with distractions, so that you won’t deal with all the emotions clogging your heart, am sorry that when they see you distracted to help yourself, they think you don’t hustle hard, you don’t put your energy where the breakthrough is.
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Am sorry that you feel pain, don’t want to wake up and face another purposeless day, that you just use anger as self defense and that it is hard for you to breathe sometimes, and that you just hate questions from people because you know they won’t understand.
Dear graduate, am sorry. Am sorry that you don’t see any job that you can fit the requirement.
Am sorry that you get your hopes up one day after applying for jobs you see yourself fit for and doing, and the next day you weep like you lost a loved one when you get rejected.
Am sorry that you look at your graduation pictures and instead of celebrating the achievement, this milestone in life, you actually wish you were still studying, and also you just don’t see the need to celebrate it at all, because you think it is in vain that you graduated and are jobless.
Am sorry that sometimes you find yourself looking at your graduation pictures and you feel sorry for that person, because to you he/she was naive. She/he thought she/he would have all her dreams come true after holding her/his certificate. But here you are months later, years later, facing a different reality.
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Am sorry that you get a lot of opinions on how you can win in life and maybe what you should start doing with your life, to the extent you feel confused, and in fact all of it is not your dreams.
Am sorry that you feel like a failure, like you failed your community somehow. Because since you started school, they made it clear to you that you need to finish school and start earning and pay for bills at home, and now that you are actually done with school, you don’t contribute anything. It is not their intentions dear graduate to hurt you, to hurt your feelings, and your pride, but right now you can’t help but think that maybe they hurt you on purpose.
Am sorry that when you get that rejection email, or hear nothing for months, it hurts your identity as well. You feel rejected by the whole world, like they don’t value your existence. Dear graduate, they rejected to work with you on that position, but not you as an individual. I bet if they get a golden opportunity to see you, they will know. They will know that you are amazing and have skills. Always remember dear graduate when the time is right something amazing will come to you and just for you.
Am sorry that you just don’t know who you are right now, you see dear graduate, our society has a way for us to be identified by what we do, they can call you Engineer K Or Doctor K or Mrs K. And what that does is fix your identity on those things and not who you are as a person, I hope dear graduate, you differ. You take this time to dig deep into who you are as a person, and jobs should not be where you find your security or identity.
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Dear graduate, I hope you learn to love this resilient, full of life, whole person that you are, I hope you collect the wisdom that you gain during this tough period and I hope that breakthrough comes to you soon.