According to my blog timetable, I was supposed to write this post months ago, but I am here writing it today. This postponing thing is on a whole another level to me…

Or maybe this topic is too personal to me, I tend to do that with personal topics. You should see my notebook, where I keep my blog posts ideas. I haven’t written about a lot that I would love to write about, maybe because am still dealing with them or I fear if i write them down words will come out of rage and not wisdom.

I was really chubby when growing up, everyone loved me chubby. My mom for example loves it when I am fat, because according to her she feels like a good person??, who is providing for me and everything. At least when I was a kid she used to believe that, that is why I was really chubby, wait, I also loved tomatoes so much and Vitumbua.

But as a grown up, and the way the world define beauty, I feel like being fat does not mean what my mom thinks it does, it means ugly/unacceptable/something wrong.

There feels to be a standard of weight to have, and that’s why we use words like overweight and underweight, medically this is good, but If told to me directly,I find it so offensive…. Like I have exceeded the normal weight, am over it.

I have been told words like fat/heavy/and all the Swahili words that basically mean fat.

Once time I met a friend and our conversation went like this:

Me; oh my God, I haven’t seen you for so long, how are you?

Her; oh Eunice, you have gained weight… You are so fat now

Me; thank you, how have you been, its been years?

You are so fat is not a greeting.

It is no a compliment, my African brethrens.

It is not socially acceptable to talk about someone’s body unless they let you in. You never know what they are dealing with. Pretty much you will never know why someone has lost or gained weight. Or how in that case.

At some point people make me feel like a meat or a fish with the way they comment about my appearance. Like am there to be dissected and everyone has an opinion about me. We forget, that inside this body that you dissect, there is a heart that feels,aches and has evil thoughts sometimes. We forget that you don’t really need to give unsolicited advice or speak whatever you have in your mind about people until they ask your input. Why do you think my body is for you? For you to tell me what is right or wrong with it?

Who in the world are you to think you are that powerful over me? My body is a temple, my temple to keep, protect and nourish. It basically goes through everything for me, my body is me, mine, for me.

Related : Do you love the natural you

I think we represent God with our bodies, like we show His glory with them, our differences glorify God… So maybe it shouldn’t be something that makes us feel bad to be in. It should make us praise God more.

So to the girls and boys feeling ugly because they are fat or thin.. Yes I said thin. Although thinness is the beauty standard, apparently people are being bullied for being thin as well. This world is shocking, I know. This is why we need to love ourselves in the shapes that we come in, the world keep changing. If it had one beauty standard it would have been great, but the world is full of changes, everyday.. God is the one who doesn’t change, and He is the one who made you and loves you.

So back to my point (more like my mentor’s), she said ‘it doesn’t matter, whether you are thin or fat, tall or short, you are beautiful in your own way, don’t let the world make you feel bad for being you, unique, you. There is only one you in this world, you are unique exactly the way you are, I hope you get to love you, just the way you are, perfect in God’s eyes, the Apple of His eyes, His loved daughter or son, He sent His one and only son to come die for you… Exactly the way you are’.

I hope you will get to see how fickle this world is, and i hope God’s opinion of you matters more that the world’s. I hope you love yourself, your body, that beautiful God’s vessel given to you to nourish.

I hope you get to see how valuable your body is and learn to love it the way it is, and you don’t hurt yourself.

Your body can be perfect to you, and that’s what matters. The world’s opinion doesn’t, people’s opinion reflect their character/ what they are struggling with in the lives/ and it is more for them than for them more than you (because we are really selfish, we care about ourselves than others), always remember that.

Don’t hurt your body, don’t hurt yourself

Learn to love your body, learn to love yourself.

So fat or thin, this is perfect to me.

Eunice

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12 thoughts on “‘You have gained/lost weight’ is not a greeting

  1. Charli Dee

    Wow! I had a similar experience some time ago! Someone I haven’t seen in a long time told me I had gotten fat! I was shocked because I didn’t really feel like I did. I don’t think she was trying to be mean. In fact, I know she wasn’t, but sometimes we don’t realize how much our words affect others. Thanks for sharing this! Such a beautiful post with a beautiful message!

    1. Eunice Tossy

      So true…

      Thank you for sharing your story dear. It is really hard to see from their perspective sometimes.. But it is good to consider that as well

      1. Karen

        The right things I just needed to get through this day.

        1. Eunice Tossy

          Means A LOT to hear that Karen. Thank you for reading love

  2. Bro George

    Awesome post Eunice, very true. I liked this statement you made that we forget, that inside this body that you dissect, there is a heart that feels, aches and has evil thoughts sometimes and finally that our differences glorify God is also very true.

    Notwithstanding; let’s also take care of our bodies and try to be in good shape always as you said, since the body is actually for the Lord too; whose temple we are.

    1. Eunice Tossy

      Thank you so much Bro George..

      And so true, our bodies are temples..

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  7. Bolaji Gelax

    I love this

    1. Eunice Tossy

      thank you love, thank you for reading

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